Combat Insults for Humans!
Humans are everywhere. There are lots of them, and they’re not that good at anything. Your monsters should make fun of them.
1. “So, yer not the fastest. Or the strongest. Or the sharpest. What is it yer good at again?”
2. “Humans are bland. But there are always so many of them to eat!”
3. “Elf-skin too thin. Dwarf-skin too rough. Man-skin juuust right. Got me skinnin’ knife handy—c’mere and I’ll show ya.”
4. “Silence, manling. Your time on this Plane is short. Let the adults speak.”
5. “Man meat! Man meat! Tastes like ham meat! Pigs don’t gripe, an’ pigs don’t moan, pigs don’t grumble, grouse, or groan, pigs don’t cry, an’ pigs don’t whine, but we’ll take man meat every time!”
6. “Elves are cleverer. Dwarves are more stubborn. But you Humans. You breed and you breed and you creep like pestilence across the land. So I do my part to expunge you however I can.”
7. “Humans spread innovation, trade, and the stench of self-righteousness wherever they go.”
8. “Draw your blade, filthy Human. Stand and fight. You cannot outrun me. You cannot escape your fate.”
9. “Heard tell of a Man once who bothered to ask the opinion of his neighbor…eh, on second thought, that were an Elf.”
10. “Yikes! Yikes! Grab your tykes! The sight ahead is worth the hike! There’s nothing there that’s not to like: It’s Human heads on Orcish pikes!”
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