Critical Hits for Bludgeoning Weapons!

Did you just smash a monster with your Club, Cudgel, Hammer, Mace, Maul, Morning Star, Stave, Stone, or Unarmed Strike? Yaaaar! Calculate your damage, roll d100 for Body Location, then roll d100 again to find out what happens!

Body Location

Legs 1-30

Body 31-59

Arms 60-89

Head 90-100

Critical Hit Results

LEGS

1-5 You rap the hooligan on the kneecaps! They shrug and grunt at your remarkable lack of combat skill.

6-10 You clip the ugly culprit on the foot! They hop about for a bit, but recover quickly.

11-15 You whack the murderer across the thighs! They snarl and hiss. Their next attack has +2 to hit you.

16-20 You crack the insolent punk on the ankle bone! They screech, flounder, and fall Prone.

21-25 You drub your uncouth rival soundly about the lower legs! They lose their Move for this turn.

26-30 You molly-whop the self-important saboteur across the shins! They scream red-faced, and make an extra attack on you this turn.

31-35 You clap the bilious blackguard on the quad muscle! They yelp and careen side to side. You have +3 to hit them on your next attack.

36-40 You slam the calumniator roughly in the crotch! They wail and fall Prone, writhing on the floor.

41-45 You lambaste the evildoer right on the hip bone! They cry out to their ancestors and curse your family name. d4 allies rush to their aid.

46-50 You jounce the wicked felon in the hamstring! They are knocked about and lose their Move for this turn.

51-55 You rattle the odious sinner’s knees! They swear to their foul god that they shall slay you in this life, or in the next. Their next attack has +2 to hit you.

56-60 You pulp half the seditionist’s toes! They squawk and fall Prone, clutching the place where half their toes used to be.

61-65 You spank the foul lowlife across the buttocks! They cry out in shame and attempt to flee the combat.

66-70 You trounce the homicidal swine with a massive hit to the knee joint! They scream in pain and lose all attacks this turn.

71-75 You impact the worthless troublemaker with a mighty blow to the calf! They hop about on one foot and lose their Move for this turn.

76-80 You paste the villain with a vicious shot to the femur! They grunt in discomfort, and fall Prone.

81-85 You slug the wretch with a direct hit to the shin bones! They curse your forefathers with all manner of insults. You have +3 to hit on your next attack.

86-90 You shake the revolting invader with a brutal hit to the groin! They moan in anguish and lose all attacks this turn.

91-95 You whop the self-assured libertine in the hamstring! They stumble forward 10 feet, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

96-00 You pummel the draconian thug with a hammering blow to the hipbone! They scream in agony, and fall Prone.

BODY

1-5 You shiver your foe with a blow to their rotund belly! They chuckle and rub the bulging fat to show you how good it felt.

6-10 You land a shocking blow to the fiend’s chest! They roar in disbelief, then laugh in your face.

11-15 You slam into the degenerate’s collar bone! They grumble their displeasure and lose all Attacks of Opportunity this turn.

16-20 You pound your malefactor’s floating ribs! They careen forward 10 feet, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

21-25 You plunk the crook’s manubrium! They hack and stammer and are at -2 to hit you for the rest of the round.

26-30 Your hit jolts the blackmailer’s paunch! They snort curses at you and shake it off.

31-35 You knock the gangster’s breastbone! They wheeze and may attack you only once this round.

36-40 You land a crushing blow to the creep’s jugular notch! They gasp for breath and misstep 10 feet to the side, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

41-45 You smash into the bandit’s trapezius! They wince under the blow and lose their Move this round.

46-50 You jar the yardbird’s potbelly! They puke up a brownish slime. Anyone moving through that square must make a 16 DEX save, or fall Prone.

51-55 You buffet your attacker’s pectoralis muscle! They scoff at your feeble attack and d2 of their friends rush in to strike you, if possible.

56-60 You cane the offender’s solar plexus! They blunder forward 10 feet, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

61-65 You cuff your adversary’s torso! They chortle curses at you and seem none the worse for wear.

66-70 You clobber your assailant’s stomach! They double over and lose all attacks this round.

71-75 Your hit thunders into the brute’s muscular abdomen! They stagger to and fro and are +3 to be hit this round.

76-80 You knock the rowdy right in the guts! They stagger back 10 feet, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

81-85 You lash your opponent’s side! They clutch the wound and swear an obscene oath to drink your blood. They are +2 to hit you on their next attack.

86-90 You clash into the antihero’s ribs! They bark vulgarities at you and take no further actions this round.

91-95 You crack the robber’s clavicle! They scream in a high-pitched wail and lose all attacks this round.

96-00 You clatter the enemy’s sternum! They stumble to the side 10 feet, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

ARMS

1-5 You graze the betrayer’s fingers! They leer at you and lunge back for a nasty counterattack.

6-10 You bang the offender’s knuckles! They howl a snatch of battlesong and run a finger across their throat.

11-15 You whack the lowlife right on the back of the hand! They bare their teeth at you and lose their next attack.

16-20 You wallop the goon’s wrist-bone! They snivel and Drop anything held in that hand.

21-25 You trash the pitiless defamer’s fist! They shake their bloody knuckles at you and are -3 to hit you on their next attack.

26-30 You paste the culprit’s humerus! They are knocked to the side 10 feet, and incur Attacks of Opportunity.

31-35 You blast the devil’s scapula! They growl in agony and use their next Move action to retreat from you.

36-40 You bash the convict’s thumb! You are reasonably confident that they snarl foreign curses at your mother. They drop anything held in that hand.

41-45 You whop the stinking cannibal’s radius! They charge forward and take an extra attack on you.

46-50 You severely blackjack the bully’s upper arm! They roar in disbelief and use their next Move action to retreat from you.

51-55 You wind up and absolutely pommel brute’s hand! They shriek in shock and lose all attacks this round.

56-60 You bat the malefactor about the triceps! They cry out in pain and Drop anything held in that hand.

61-65 You seriously pound the rioter’s bicep! They fling insults at you with such fervor that they lose all other actions this round.

66-70 You fiercely beat the desperado’s ulna! They screech and stagger backward. You have +3 to hit them on your next attack.

71-75 You casually swat the enemy’s palm! They cry out in humiliation and d2 allies rush to their aid, if possible.

76-80 You brutally thrash the gangster’s fingers! They moan and Drop anything held in that hand.

81-85 You wreck the lout’s forearm! They hiss at you, cradle the wound, and lose all attacks this round.

86-90 You cave in the malicious hustler’s shoulder! They stagger back 10 feet, leaving a trail of blood. Affected squares require a DEX 16 check, or fall prone.

91-95 You batter the hateful hooligan’s elbow! They throw whatever they hold in that hand at you, for missile damage.

96-00 You crush the monster’s wrist! They cavort about frantically and drop anything held in that hand.

HEAD

1-5 You thump the slavering brute across the jaw! Teeth and spittle go flying in an attractive arc, that you take a moment to appreciate.

6-10 You shellac the dirty outlaw in the neck! They curse softly and vow to slay you, your dog, and your family.

11-15 You clip the savage with a hard hit to the mouth! They grin with newly broken teeth and lose one of their attacks this round.

16-20 You smack your malodorous rival upside the head with a clean blow! They are Stunned and can take no action for the rest of the round.

21-25 You hammer the conceited bully right on the bridge of the nose! They scream in rage and attack you an additional time this turn.

26-30 You jar the detestable gangster with a straight blow to the chin! They laugh manically and spit bloody snot in your face.

31-35 You bonk the lousy defiler on the side of the head! They stumble back 10 feet, incurring Attacks of Opportunity.

36-40 You wallop your filthy adversary right on the ear! They are Stunned and can take no action for the rest of the round.

41-45 You jangle the stinking crook with a hit to the orbital ridge! They howl hysterically and lose one of their attacks this round.

46-50 You cudgel the scoundrel on the top of their skull! They wink lewdly at you and shake off the pain.

51-55 You cuff the arrogant goon about the head and shoulders! They shout for assistance, drawing d2 other attackers to you next round, if possible.

56-60 You crack your opponent with a hard one to the noggin. They are Stunned and can take no action for the rest of this round.

61-65 You welt the fuming hoodlum right above the ear! They jabber at you in tongues, but suffer no other ill effects.

66-70 You drum the aggravating backbiter right across the face! They rattle off a string of creative obscenities and charge at you for their next attack.

71-75 You jolt the haughty critter with a stinging hit to the throat! They cough, sputter, and are +3 to be hit until the end of the next round.

76-80 You rattle the dog-eared slanderer with a blow to the temple! They are Stunned and can take no action for the rest of the round.

81-85 You bash open a large cut on your malefactor’s forehead! Blood floods their eyes and they have -2 to hit you until the end of the next round.

86-90 You flog the disgusting sadist across the neck. They wince and lose their move for this round.

91-95 You smack your surly opponent right in the eye! They wail in pain and lose all attacks for this round.

96-00 You land a thunderous blow to the crown of the ruffian’s head, making them see stars. They are Stunned and can take no action for the rest of the round.