Combat Insults for Rangers!

Every party needs a green-hooded, bow-carrying loner who always wants to lead you into the woods.

1. “Rangers is what ya call a ‘quired taste’–sorta gristly and gamey, and ya feel bad fer eatin’ too many–but it’s fair meat fer the slow pot.”

2. “Oh dear me, a bow.  And a few piddling forest spells.  Whatever shall I do?”

3. “Rangers always snoops and sneaks, into our caves they often peeks, they tracks our prints through dell and dale, and so we leads them down a trail, special made with lots o’ traps, rabid boars, and giant bats, and whilst they battle with our path, we take another, and laugh, and laugh.”

4. “Never met a Ranger sat still long enough to learn much worthwhile.  But if I ever need ta know all the fungus types tween’ here an’ Buckland, well, I’ll get in touch.”

5. “Footpaddin’ through the trees all day, quiet, quiet, good sneaks.  And then ya has a fire at night.  I’m sure nothin’ in the forest will notice that.“

6. “You have a Dwarf among you, by the stench.  And what’s this other smell?  Pine needles and sweat, hmm?  Ah, but of course.  A Ranger.”

7. “You’ve trained for years in the forest, and for what?  To wield those dual longswords?  Fade back into the shadows, Ranger.  Or I’ll demonstrate the power of time better spent.”

8. “My sources tell me you’ve been in the city a week.  Yet you still manage to smell like badger scat and a campfire.  How do you manage it?”

9. “Run!  Run!  Oh, never mind, lads, at ease.  Thought it was a Druid.  Just a Ranger.”

10. “Your stories of outlaw past are impressive, Ranger.  Pity they didn’t foster any valuable skills.”

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